A short self-assessment on how you showed up in your marriage, built to give you an honest starting point, not a verdict.
Divorce Bro is your source for information, support, and community to get through divorce in a way you can be proud of. Divorce isn't just something to recover from; it's a wake-up call for your renewal as the kind of man you want to be.
Answer the questions below to get new insight on the kind of man you've been up until this point, and what needs to change for you to become the man you want to be. This will only take a few minutes and it's totally free.
When you've submitted your answers, I'll explain what the Compass measures before you see your results, and then you can have the whole thing emailed to you to keep.
Answer honestly, the way it really was. There are no right answers, and the less you strategize, the truer your result. When you're done, hit continue.
Answer the first nine questions to continue.
You're done. Before you see where you landed, take a minute to understand what the Compass measures. It'll make your result mean a lot more.
The culture mostly shows a man two ways to be one, and they're both extremes.
The Bully meets the world with force: control, defensiveness, contempt for anything soft. Dominance without care.
The Wimp meets it with appeasement: never interrupting, never wanting, disappearing himself to keep the peace. Care without spine.
Most men live somewhere on the line between them. And here's what almost no one tells you: you didn't choose your spot on that line. You inherited it, from your father or his absence, from everything the culture taught you a man is supposed to be. That isn't your fault. But it is now yours to change.
Success here is two moves. The first is to decide for yourself where you want to stand between those two extremes: an intentional spot, chosen with your eyes open, probably closer to the middle than where you've been. The second is to move up the other axis, from Scripted to Principled. The Scripted man is playing the "man" role he internalized growing up, without ever thinking about it. The Principled man has decided what he stands for — a few sentences he wrote for himself — and he can be relied on to follow them, come what may. Principled isn't a spot on the line between Bully and Wimp. It's how you hold whatever spot you choose.
One axis is where you sit between Bully and Wimp. The other is whether you're living from principles you chose or a script you inherited. The aim: choose your spot on purpose, and hold it on principle.
We use blunt words on purpose, not to insult you, but to let you be honest. A man can look at "Wimp" and say "yeah, that's been me" in a way he never could with something softer. They name a posture, not your worth. The Compass shows a lean, not a life sentence: where you've been standing, not who you are.
That's all this is. It won't tell you who to become; that part is yours to decide. It'll just show you, plainly, where you've been. From there the real work starts: you choose where you want to stand, you write your Principles, and you build the man who holds that ground. Renewal, not just recovery.